


i'm only focusing on you, alright? [stay with me]

by kwjs



Series: 🌎 [2]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Inspired by Game of Thrones, M/M, Mentions of Attempted Suicide, Other, Suicidal Thoughts, also all ye who say that woojin shouldve been jon snow i counter that with, also we are once again reminded that i am incapable of writing a fic without angst, hyunjin is jon snow, i tried ok??? its. softer than i thought i could write bshahfds, impromptu fic for friend finishing an art piece, unedited. forgive me., woojin is tormund, woojin?? peak aries man?? in this house we stan a chaotic wildling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-16 14:29:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18693397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kwjs/pseuds/kwjs
Summary: Hyunjin regretted many things: having to leave his brothers, being labeled a traitor by his brothers, coming back to life. What he didn't regret was meeting Woojin. Who could regret meeting the one person who grounded them, loved them, made them feel whole?





	i'm only focusing on you, alright? [stay with me]

Hyunjin watches the snow fall, some of it fleeting past, others sticking to his hair and face, the air so bitter that when it lands it stays there, a freezing reminder from the sky. His black cloak does nothing to protect him from the wind; he wraps it tighter around him, leather gloves crinkling and bending stiffly as he grips the material, pulling it closer to his body. 

He hears footsteps but does not turn. No, if someone came up all the steps that bring one to the top of the Wall, then they will state their business, or stay; it is more likely the latter, as no business would come to him at 3am that he would not have seen at his vantage point. 

A presence slides into place next to him. His curiosity winning over stubbornness and the need to remain aloof, Hyunjin turns his head slightly to see Woojin standing next to him, holding out a blanket as if he intends to wrap it around the Commander’s shoulders. Hyunjin flinches, but stills upon the older noticing him noticing, well, him. 

“Easy, pretty crow. It’s just me.” Woojin’s voice is filled with a warmth that eases the stress from Hyunjin’s shoulders more than a blanket or a hearth fire ever could. “Of all the places I wanted to find you, this was the last place.” 

Hyunjin cracks a smile. “You found me anyways.” 

“That I did.” Woojin successfully rests the blanket around his shoulders and takes a step back, letting him have his space. Hyunjin gratefully lets go of his cloak to clutch at the blanket. It’s still freezing, but Woojin is here. Woojin will make it better.

This...relationship one could call it is unconventional at the very least, but a joy to both of them at the most. Hyunjin remembers how all the jokes Woojin would make of him being “the prettiest crow that ever was” eventually lead them to exchanging soft touches behind the closed doors. Jokes in the real world, truths in the bedroom. It was how they operated. 

Another way they operated was Woojin being able to find him when his men could not. The Commander was notorious for disappearing to the gods only knew where after finishing his paperwork and duties. The wildling always seemed to know where Hyunjin had gone. 

“Sometimes your aura remains in places. I can sense how you’re feeling and go where I think you would be,” Woojin had told him once when they were cuddling under blankets, the hearth burning and Winter curled up on his fur by the fire. “You’re not as unpredictable as your men would have everyone, including themselves, believe.” 

Hyunjin had hummed in reply, tracing a scar just above the older man’s collarbone, content. Woojin had smiled at his absentmindness and curled a hand in his hair. They’d slept past the Commander’s usual wake time, cuddling longer into the morning that either had intended. 

Now, Woojin was watching Hyunjin like he did not quite know him. The younger supposed that was fair; he, too, felt like he didn’t know himself anymore. He wasn’t sure if he was awake or still wandering in darkness, unable to fully die but incapable of bringing himself back to life.

They still hurt, those scars from the stab wounds that had ultimately killed him. He whimpered under his breath, rubbing at the one closests to his heart. Gods, it was cold. Why had he come up here again? 

Woojin reached out a hand and set it on his shoulder. “Hyunjin?” Worry. He’d made the older worried. “I know I said that I’m good at finding you, but I’m not good at figuring out why you would be in the places you are.” Hyunjin swallowed. Bits and pieces were coming back.

He’d been eating and drinking with his fellow men of the Night’s Watch, and some of the free folk who’d decided to spend the night. Woojin had been sitting next to him, one hand shoveling food into his mouth while resting his other on Hyunjin’s lower back. Hyunjin had eaten some, pushing around the rest of his food on his plate, ignoring the stares. No one knew how to treat him since he’d come back from the dead; he couldn’t blame them. 

Unable to take anymore, he’d excused himself, grabbing his cloak and sword and deciding to go for a walk. His walk had somehow lead him here, to the top of the Wall, which he’d walked along, pacing back and forth before finding a spot to stand. 

Hyunjin didn’t want to tell Woojin that he’d been contemplating jumping for the past who knows how long. He’d almost done it once, but had thought of his brothers, and stopped, caving. His brothers, some who were surely dead, others who still lived on somewhere. He wondered if those who remained in this world thought of him daily, as he did of them.

Thinking of his brothers made him trace the scar on his left cheekbone, remembering how he had taught Jisung and Felix to fight, how he’d spend hours helping Seungmin with his lessons, how he’d gone horseback riding through the land with Jeongin. There wasn’t a day that passed that he didn’t think of them.

It was because of them, because of these thoughts, that he’d pulled himself back a few paces and just stood until Woojin had found him. But he didn’t want to say that. So he stayed silent.

Woojin seemed to know more with Hyunjin saying nothing than if he’d said anything. He wrapped one arm around the younger, gently but firmly steering him away from the Wall and down the steps. Hyunjin had to be careful of his footing, stumbling many a time before they reached the bottom due to the numbness that had spread through his whole body. The older never fussed, catching the younger each time and tightening his hold on him, all the way down the long, winding, wooden staircase and across the snowy yard. 

They passed by Changbin, who was seated in the shadows at the edge of the courtyard. He stood up as the two approached and followed them into the Commander’s quarters. 

“He verbal?” Changbin addressed Woojin, nodding in the younger’s direction. Sometimes Hyunjin would choke on words and stop talking, for several hours or even days at a time, using shaking hands to pass messages if need be. Before he’d met Woojin, he had no idea what they were, and used them as an excuse to hate himself more. 

Woojin had explained that it could be a many number of things, but the most likely was overstimulation, heightened by his anxiety. 

“Doesn’t look the same for everyone, and it certainly doesn’t mean the same for everyone.” The elder had his hands holding Hyunjin’s shoulders, the younger seated on the bed hunched over while he crouched in front of him. “No matter what the cause is, if you need to go mute for a time, so be it.” 

Most of the men had scoffed the first few times he’d gone silent, but after a time they all came to accept it, even if they didn’t understand. He was still their Lord Commander after all. 

“He replied with a few witty comments, so I think he’s okay.” Woojin turned to Hyunjin, one eyebrow raised in question. “Are you okay?” 

Hyunjin shrugged, peeling off his wet, cold clothes with a shudder. “I guess.” 

Changbin let out a sigh. “Hyunjin- that is, you have a long day later. You should try to get some sleep.” 

The younger nodded. “I’ll try. And Changbin?” The man turned, pausing at the door frame. “Thank you.” Changbin smiled before shutting the door behind him. 

Hyunjin became actutely aware of the fact that it was just him and Woojin in the room. Winter must have found somewhere else to spend the night. He watched, out of the corner of his eye, as the older began to pull off his outer layers and boots, making it clear he intended to stay. But he was slow about it, also indicating that if the younger asked him to leave, he would. 

He had no intention of that. Hyunjin could think of nothing better than getting under the covers and curling up, his nose pressed against Woojin’s neck as the older hummed him to sleep. But-

“Aren’t you going to ask?” Woojin startled at the younger’s question, struggling to pull his shirt over his head, muscles clenching. Hyunjin held back a chuckle and walked across the room, helping to ease the fabric the rest of the way over his limbs. 

Woojin puffed out an exasperated laugh. “Thanks.” Standing this close, Hyunjin couldn’t help but map every inch of skin, scar and tattoo he could find. Several fingers found his chin and tugged his head and gaze upwards. The older eyed him, fond. “Eyes up here, lovely.” 

Hyunjin flushed, jerking his chin out of the grasp and walking across his room to dump his clothes on the table off to the side. He felt the older’s gaze on his back. “And no, I won’t ask.” 

“What?” Hyunjin turned, his own night shirt half on, confused. What were they talking about? Were they talking? Woojin shook his head, amused. 

“I won’t ask you because I already know.” Hyunjin froze, remembering. Ah, yes. He’d asked. At the older’s next words he choked on breath and spit alike. “You were going to jump.” 

“...was,” Hyunjin mumbled, barely audible. He was. But he didn’t. 

“You didn’t,” Woojin replied, gesturing to where Hyunjin stood, as if that was proof enough. “But you were.” 

“But I didn’t,” Hyunjin insisted, feeling a hint of anger leave his mouth with those words. He regretted it instantly, looking away to grab some clean trousers, unable to look at the older. It was in the past, why would anyone linger on that? The past was for the dead, the future was for the living. Wasn’t that what he’d preached to the Night’s Watch brethren and the free folk alike, insisting, cajoling, pleading for an alliance between the two groups of people. Neither had been pleased, but they’d done it. He’d done that. 

But none of that mattered if he was dead, this he knew. Still, when he’d stood atop the Wall and looked out over the landscape, seeing as far as he could in the snowing night, he could see how insignificant he was. He mattered little in the grand scheme of things. 

“Hyunjin.” His name was whispered close to his ear, followed by two arms wrapped around his sternum, pulling him back into a firm, warm chest. He shuddered, closing his eyes. “Hyunjin, listen to me. You didn’t jump, yes. But you wanted to. Who's to say you won’t try again? And who will be there to help you down when you get to that point?” The “I may not be there, and that scares me” was left unsaid. 

He chewed on his bottom lip. “I can’t promise anything.” He didn’t mean to sound so broken, to guilt trip the older into dropping it, but- gods, he didn’t want this conversation. Not now, not ever. But especially not now, when he’d just talked himself down from a fall, when he was currently wrapping in the larger man’s arms. 

Woojin sighed, catching his hands in his own, resting his chin on the younger’s shoulder. “I know you can’t. Can you promise me something else?” He shrugged. “Come find me next time.” 

“But-” 

“No buts. Can or can’t you?” 

“Can,” he mumbled, enjoying how Woojin spun him around easily in his hands. “I mean. I can. But- are you sure?” He batted eyelashes up at the older, watching as the wildling’s face softened from a hard, troubled look to a fonder, quieter expression. 

“Would I have offered if I wasn’t?” That was true. “Sleep?” 

“Sleep.” 

Things weren’t alright now. Perhaps they’d never be. But here, in this room, with this man, he was safe. That was all he needed to know right now.

**Author's Note:**

> OK SO uhhh this was an unexpected write. Basically, friend Roo was like "I gotta finish an art piece but I don't wannaaaa" and I was like "if you finish the piece I'll write a fic based on it, depending on what I feel when I see it". So this is that fic. Please go check out their lovely artwork!! You can find it [here](https://prodchoi.tumblr.com/post/184592198629). (I think the white tattoo like-markings made me think of snow, and. Well).
> 
> I put Nu'est's "Bet Bet" on repeat the whole time (song title is lyrics from it), but I dunno if reading it to the song is something you'd wanna do aha. Writing and reading are two diff moods. 
> 
> Nothing like my usual stuff, at all. Present tense, an actual ship, writing based on a show I'm currently watching (yea I'm binging got and I just reached s6 pft). Also, as you've probably noticed if you've read my other works, much shorter. No matter, was a reward for my friend being productive. Spent a few hours on this, I'm done. (I still feel basic in the title, summary and fic itself tho :") whoops). Either way, I hope y'all enjoy this spur of the moment write.
> 
> If you wanna find me over on tumblr, I'm [@woojinsjf](https://woojinsjf.tumblr.com). Otherwise, until next time, stay safe my lovelies.~


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